Dealing with Stress, Overwhelm and Anxiety
Adam Payne • 4 May 2020
Your Spheres of Influence
Deal with your overwhelm, stress and anxiety with this little exercise
1. Have the printout of the Spheres of Influence
or draw the circles on a piece of paper.
a. Drawing the diagram – Write "My Spheres of Influence" as a heading at the top of the page. Now draw one large circle that almost fills the page, followed by a second circle inside the first circle (that takes up roughly 1/3 of the larger circle's space). Write "Within my control" inside the smallest circle, "I can influence" inside the largest circle and "Everything Else" somewhere outside the circles on the page.
2. Take a moment to calmly consider the list of things contributing to your worries and feelings of overwhelm. Write them in the box below. It could be worrying about your business, what's going to happen, worry about someone you care about, feeling tired, work issues, lack of work, feelings of guilt, what to concentrate on, what needs to be completed, etc
3. Now using your drawing or the tool, write out each 'Worry Item' on your "Spheres of Influence". You must assess each worry item and decide:
a. Do you have complete CONTROL over the worry item (i.e. you can resolve it on your own without needing anyone else's help or input):
i. If so, write it down within the first circle labelled "WITHIN MY CONTROL" and move onto the next item.
b. If you have PARTIAL control / can INFLUENCE the outcome of the worry item (i.e. you can partly resolve the worry item or influence the outcome through their actions or behaviour)
i. Write this item within the second circle labelled "I CAN INFLUENCE" and move onto their next worry on the list.
c. Finally, if the worry item is COMPLETELY OUTSIDE of your control or influence (ie. there is nothing you can do or say that could directly impact this worry)
i. Write this item OUTSIDE the circles in the area labelled "EVERYTHING ELSE…" and move onto their next worry.
4. Once you have written out all your 'Worry Items' in the relevant area, review your "Spheres of Influence".
a.. For the worry items you have CONTROL over:
Ask yourself to IDENTIFY AN ACTION (however small) for each worry item.
TIP: It is helpful to action ONE of these today - or even RIGHT NOW - to instantly feel better.
b. For the items you have INFLUENCE / PARTIAL control over:
Write down the steps you will take and exactly when you will do them - today or in the next few days.
c. Finally (and most importantly)
LET GO of EVERYTHING ELSE! You get to choose how you spend your energy. So you can choose to focus on what is WITHIN your CONTROL and INFLUENCE. It's a complete waste of energy (and big stress increaser) to worry about things you can do NOTHING about!
Physically STRIKETHROUGH each of these "Everything Else" items on your "Spheres of Influence". After all, if you cannot control or influence it, then it's a waste of your precious energy to even think about it.
TIP: If you struggle with this idea (and even if not!) think about how it FEELS to let go of the things you have no control over.
TIP: As well as striking out the "Everything Else" items, you could also cut out around the big circle, scrunching up the "Everything Else" items and putting them in the bin. This is a powerful way to "let go".
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